i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize