carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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