Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
