He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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