How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
