There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
