Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
