i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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