We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Congratulations! We have a period
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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