You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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