let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize