I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
