I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
