It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
