I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
they need to just BURY HIM!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
