Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
