Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
