I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
