I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize