week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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