Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
