we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
