Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
