i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize