ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
