About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
