I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
