God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
