I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
