Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
