I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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