i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
