sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
time to smoke my breakfast
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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