only if we run a train.
done.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
