i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize