please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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