omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just google imaged poop.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we should paint friendship bongs
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
