SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
