Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
