i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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