he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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