none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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