so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
