the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
