Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
