New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
