Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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