i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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