stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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