Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
