Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
