that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
