i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
