he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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