His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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