If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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