i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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