I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
