Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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