Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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