A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
