I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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