I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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