uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
