i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
