He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So vagazzling was a success
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
