Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
